Well, here I've come to share my wisdom. ::Cough cough, looser, cough cough:: Anyway, I'll skip all the foreplay and cut to the deed...
1) Why Cadbury Eggs are the Devil's Spawn:
I am a leading expert on why King Henry the George (That would be me.) is an idiot. My freshman year in high school some friends and myself happened upon a drugstore selling Cadbury Eggs, they still had them left over from Easter and they were a piddly ten cents apiece. Three of us purchased ten dollars worth (A hundred, see this coming don't you?), deciding to eat thirty-three each and save one for posterity - I don't know whose. Now Cadbury Eggs weigh 1.37 ounces each, eating 33 of them is 45.21 ounces (Nearly three pounds.) of candy. I was the only one to eat my full share. I was also the only one to soon become VIOLENTLY PHYSICALLY ILL and vomit up heaps of thick syrup. It was ghastly. It was one of the most outstandingly nasty episodes in my life. I've seen people kill a bottle of tequila before and paid for that. IT DOESN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO VOMITING UP THIRTY-THREE HALF DIGESTED CADBURY EGGS. Enough said, I'm an idiot.
The facts about Cadbury Eggs:
Net weight: 1.37 ounces (38.84 grams)
Calories: 180
Fat: 6 g
Sodium: 25 mg
Carbohydrates: 29 g
Protein: 2 g
Ingredients: Milk chocolate; sugar; corn syrup; vanilla, an artificial flavoring; egg whites, artificial coloring AND THE DEVIL. (Okay, I added the last, Cadbury eggs do not - I repeat do not, contain the devil.)
2) Starting to get hair in really weird places, like on the end of my nose. If you have a grandfather, look in his ears, I'm not relishing the idea. (Don't laugh by the way, unless your adopted you'll look much the same given time.) Wonder if shaving the inside of gramp's ears would help his hearing...
3) Once I was on a road trip in the middle of a desert. I saw a roadrunner. Those little guys can go, they probably wouldn't taste good anyway.
4) I don't think police universally like doughnuts.
Anyway, I am off, before many hard objects are thrown at my head... it's basically hit or miss with these things. Watch out for each other, and take care! BLADDAHA!
------ Georgy Orgy