Yeah, that last e-mail... it was kinda blank. (That's what happens when you try to deprioritize your mailing list and then hit send afterwards) Well, here we go again, this shall be the second installment... I'll probably run out of good ones in a few weeks, I can feel it! (Wait, what am I saying? There ARE no good ones....)
1) This "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" crap really annoys me. I should write a book titled "The Positive Effect of Negative Reinforcement in Relationships."
2) Right back to talking about my brother, being young kids we liked to torture each other. For example, I woke up a few times with shampoo in my hair. So once, using a waterproof "Sharpie" marker, I labeled most of his body parts. You know, in case he forgot... ...imagine his surprise the next morning when the mirror revealed "forehead" across that part of his face. And of course there were others: Hand, arm, leg, foot, chest, stomach, neck. Do you know why they call them permanent markers? Well, they're not on skin, but it takes some dedicated scrubbing.
3) More wisdom from Mr. Simplicity. (I actually have a small notebook full of his sayings.) We're stuck in a traffic jam when he notices the car to our right and slightly ahead has Pennsylvania plates. These read as follows: "You've got a friend in PA." My dad yells out the window at them, "If you're my friend then get the f**k out of my way." Said with a perfectly straight face, no laughter, nothing more - just goes back to surveying the landscape.
And that... is... my contribution to humanity.
------ George